


And I Keep Holding On

by quillvine



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, open heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23816230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quillvine/pseuds/quillvine
Summary: It's good to make sure he's okay.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 18





	And I Keep Holding On

**Author's Note:**

> My First OH fic! I wrote this because I was lowkey upset that after Ethan resigned he MC didn't go and check to see if he was okay. My MC's name is Claire Knight

Once it starts it doesn’t stop. He feels like he’s spiraling. Everything is spinning out of control, unravelling before his eyes. Naveen’s resignation, his mystery illness, his worsening health. Then Claire, Miami, falling for her was never part of the plan. He was losing control, he was falling. 

Down.

Down.

Down.

One month. One goddamn month. That’s all Naveen had left to live. God he was such an idiot. He couldn't save his patients, not the ones that matter anyways. So he did the unthinkable. After all, he wasn’t The Ethan Ramsey anymore.

“Dr. Ramsey you’re scaring me”

“Scared? Me too Claire, me too.”

&

He doesn’t even hear the knock on his door. He doesn’t remember buzzing anyone in, but Jenner’s frantic barks told Ethan otherwise. Christ, had he really been drinking that much?

“Okay, okay, boy calm down. I’m sure it’s nobody-”

Why the hell was she here? Was he hallucinating? There was no way he drank that much.

“Rookie what the fuck are you doing here?”

Claire smiled a little at his language, it wasn't something that she was really used to. At the hospital they had to stay professional, but after hours all bets were off.

“What? You not going to let me in?” She pushes her way past Ethan, pulling him with her as she heads towards the couch.

Ethan pulled back a little bit, reaching out behind him to lock the door before surrendering himself to Claire. She sat on his couch patting Jenner as he jumped up to sit on her lap. Patting the open spot next to her, she looked up at Ethan with bright eyes.

“Making yourself right at home aren’t you Rookie?” Ethan asked gruffly, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“You sitting down or what Ramsey?” 

He sighs sitting down on the couch next to her. “Claire, really what are you doing here?” She pauses, shifting slightly to thread her fingers between his before softly asking, “Ethan what happened today at the hospital?”

Silence. He can’t bring himself to say anything. It was easy to tell himself that he can’t save those closest to him. He already knew that after all, he had known that for years. A failure. To tell that to her was harder. He had already let her down, there was no need to disappoint her again.

“You were there Rookie, you know what happened.”

She pulls her hand away from his.

“Well I want to know what happened, from your point of view.” She’s staring at him now, eyes full of desperation. “Ethan,” she says small and quietly, “tell me what happened. Please.”

“You were there Knight, what did it look like to you?”

“Fine! Fine, you want to know what it looks like? It looks like you quit Ethan, you fucking quit!” She jabbed a finger on his chest. “You quit on all of us. On Edenbrook, on Dr. Bannerji, on me Ethan, on me. Out of everything don’t tell me that we weren’t worth fighting for.”

Ethan sighs, small and plaintively. “Claire,” he says his voice strained, “We had nothing to do with my decision-”

“No Ethan, not just us, all of us. Ines, Zaid, Dr. Emery, Dr Banneji, the whole goddamn hospital, you just walked out on everyone. No explanation, no nothing. Ethan at least just tell me why.”

Silence, Ethan pauses weighing his choices. She deserved to know what was happening, what was really happening. With him, not just with Naveen. Maybe later, baby steps.

“Claire, I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t, nothing I did worked. Even with your help, I was running into a wall at every turn, nothing worked. I’m such a-”

Failure. He sighs and puts his head in his hands. He had exhausted every possible resource and still he was missing something. The one case that mattered the most but he still couldn’t solve it.

“No Ethan not you, us.”

Her voice pulls him away from his thoughts. Us? No, it was him. She’s just an intern, a rookie, it was his job to push her, to mentor her; he didn’t do that. How could she even think that any of this was her fault?

“Claire, this is my fault, my burden, let me bear it alone.”

She reaches to take his hand back into hers. “Ethan-”

“Don’t.”

“No, you don't.” she says “Ethan, don’t keep blaming yourself.”

“He’s dying and I can’t do anything about it.” Ethan sighs and bows his head down. “Naveen is dying and I can’t do anything about it Claire. It is my fault.”

Claire smiles softly and brings her hands to cup his face. “Look at me, you did everything just right Ethan. It’s not your fault. Just like you told me, sometimes patients die on no fault of our own. After all, all we’re doing is delaying the inevitable.”

“Naveen is more than a patient, he’s family.”

“I know.”

He grips her forearm, willing her to never let go. They sit in silence for a while, Ethan just focusing on her touch. He doesn’t even feel the tears as the start to roll down his cheeks or Jenner laying his head on Ethan’s lap.

“Claire, what are we going to do?”

“Whatever it takes.”

She gathers him in her arms, hugging him close.

“Ethan, it’s gonna be okay.”

“No Claire, no it’s not. Naveen only has one month. One month. He could have had so much more time to live his life if I hadn’t convinced him to stay ”

She takes his head in her hands again, planting a soft kiss on his forehead, and tells him “The world doesn’t stop. It keeps turning. We can’t turn back time, but we can give him the best last month of his life. We keep going and we keep holding on. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He buries his head into the crook of his shoulder and allows himself to feel. Things might not be okay now, they might not be okay for a long time, but they will be because Claire’s here.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked that consider leaving a kudo or comment and check my other stuff!


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